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Tom, a high schooler and private investigator gazes out the window of his dimly lit office and sullenly rants about the city that he lives in and the scum who inhabit it. His friend James aka Jimmy - a stocky, airheaded teenager - barges into Tom's bedroom-office dramatically ranting about how the new  "dame" he’s got his eye on has him all riled up. The two sit down and Tom offers to help his friend understand this dame. Unsure why Jimmy is suddenly biting his tongue, Tom forces his aid upon his friend. He begins to bombard Jimmy with questions about the girl, even taking out a notepad to jot down clues. Jimmy finally reveals that this chick is married, and Tom finally understands Jimmy’s hesitance. Unsure how exactly to help, Tom builds the case on the corkboard and concludes he can’t help his friend, begging  Jimmy not to get involved with a married woman. Jimmy defends his infatuation, claiming no one makes a pie like this dame. Abruptly, Tom’s mother, Ms. Milton, bursts into the room to deliver some fresh-baked apple pie. A swooning Jimmy welcomes her as she drops off the pie, remarking that she makes the best pie. A horrified Tom realizes that Jimmy is in love with… his mother! He turns to Jimmy, winding up for a punch, not letting his old pal get away with an act of betrayal unscathed. 

 © Private Eye & Apple Pie 2021

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